i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize