what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
