another moral hangover. fuck.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
