tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize