I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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