why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
