your room smells of hookers.
And success
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
