you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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