You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
