TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
