dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Randomize
