just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
After tacos, we're chasing women.
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