Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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