You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
