They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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