I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
