If that was your dad, he is hot
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
