Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
