spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
What happened to fro yo and sex?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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