I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
