he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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