Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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