Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
