u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
