My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
