ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
