she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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