we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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