Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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