Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
