Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
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