Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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