the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Randomize
