Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Its about making memories worth repressing
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
