People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
