we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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