OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
