Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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