We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
