omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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