dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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