How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
dude. I can hear the air.
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