The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
