if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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