just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
