11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Im at strip club and am horny
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Randomize
