Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
