Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm always down for nudity.
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