Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize