I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
