Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
My vagina just clenched in fear
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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