My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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