I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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