you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
