We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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