I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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