fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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