Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
