you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Green mimosas i think yes
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
