Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
True strength comes from lack of pants
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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