JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
