I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
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