You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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