Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
