Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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