i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
a search helicopter?!
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
