I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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