I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize