I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
