dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
