I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
