My first STD was from a foam party
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
