Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
