i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize