mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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