He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
